Dharma Vahini - Post 18

Purushartha and four stages in life

Stage 1, Brahmacharya – the young man studies scriptures with a Guru, gets initiated into the Gayatri, and meditates intensely on Brahman or God. 

Stage 2, Grihastha – the man gets married and leads the life of a householder; 

Stage 3, Vanaprastha - the couple having reached old age, and their children having grown up and entered family life themselves, retire to the forest. What it really means is that they substantially decrease their attachments to things both material as well as family, thus mentally preparing to focus more and more on God and seek to merge with Him when the time comes. 

After all this, comes Stage 4, when the man becomes a complete renunciant; this is technically described by saying that the man embraces Sannyasa. As a Sannyasi, the man leaves home and, wandering in the world, makes the entire world his home. He is supposed to have absolutely no attachment of any kind, including to his wife and children. 

BRAHMACHARI

The brahmacharin is the seed that develops into the practical experience of a grihastha in life, which again matures into the detached existence of a vanaprastha,which again matures into the total comprehension of the spirit in sanyasa.

HOUSE HOLDER

You have to keep good company always. Even if you are a householder looking like a bound person, you can be a good person, an ideal individual, by living in the midst of a good community in a village, or even a little township of friends and cooperative individuals. 

Keep good company, as far as it is possible. If you can live socially, it is wonderful for you to choose your company and be in the midst of those people only.

Gradually, bear in mind that your householder-life is a preparation for a retirement from the occupations of a householder. It is not a retirement from work, necessarily. The occupation is inclusive of certain mental entanglements. 

A householder actually is not a person doing many things, but thinking in many ways. The entanglement is not necessarily physical, but mostly psychological. The psychological detachment should mature gradually in a family. You do your duty to take care of your family, but don't be attached to the family.

You may be wondering how it is possible to take care of the family with detachment. This is the difference between duty and work with desire. 

A duty is a necessity, an obligation,  that arises from your very being in the circumstance of your life; it has to be done for the welfare of the whole circumstance of your life, including the society outside.

Your obligation is not to be associated with a desire full action. Here it is that the Bhagavad Gita comes before you as a guideline. The gradual detachment, even in a householder, is a maturity of thought arising after the experience of the whole of life as an entangled individual in society. In the beginning  it is all entanglement. Then, later on, it is only an apparent entanglement through social relations; mentally it is not so connected.

Slowly begin to feel that your mind is a little different from the body and social relations. Then afterwards you will find that you can live a life in the mind only, and let the social relations be anywhere. You are a mind, rather than a social unit. You are a mind thinking, rather than a physical individual associated with the mind. Thought is the human being, so let this thought be your final concern, and live in your ideas.

VANAPRASHTHA

Ideas rule the world. Every action is preceded by a thought. The world is not governed by the actions of people, but by the thoughts of people, by the ideas of the leaders of mankind. The ideas manifest themselves as activities or performances. The idea is the ultimate reality; thought is the final principle in the cosmos. Thus, you live in your mind, in your idea of total comprehension and satisfaction.

Then, gradually, you will find that you are capable of living independently without bodily associations. Such a life is called the vanaprastha stage, which does not mean running away from the family. It is a kind of family life only, without the agonies and the emotional pressures caused by relations with people.

Mostly, what people do is that they go away to some holy places for some time, though they have not left the family. For three months in a year, the family man goes out on a pilgrimage, lives in a holy place, and entrusts the enterprise of taking care of the family to his grown-up children. Whether you are a businessman, or whatever you are, this is the first step that you have to take to detach yourself.

For three months you are not in the house. After that, you come back to the house and stay there for nine months, so that you may feel no uneasiness that you are without any contact with your family members. Gradually, if this process continues for some years, you will find that you are in a position to live unconnected with family life, because the members of the family are taken care of by the children, who are well placed.

Then, you may increase your detached life into six months, nine months, then occasional visits to the family, only. Somewhere in a sacred place you live such a life; then your life and your idea that you have chosen takes possession of you completely. You become an ideal being, not a physical individual.

Your meditation is thought thinking itself, as they say, idea operating on idea, the Cosmic Mind dancing in the centre of your own idea, whereby your idea becomes a focusing point of the Cosmic Mind, and you are a sanyasin at that time.

SANYASI

A sanyasin is not necessarily someone who has put on any particular cloth. The cloth is just an indication that he has achieved that state. It is a social insignia to distinguish the person from other people. The essential thing is what you think in your mind, so live in your mind only, afterwards. Your ideas are the seeds of the universal idea of God. A person who lives such a kind of life in his ideas only is a sanyasin. He has renounced truly.

You have not thrown away anything in your renunciation through sanyasa. You have attained a perfect, total, developed maturity of spiritual comprehension. That kind of living of an ideal existence, free in every sense of the term, happy always, happy with anything and everything – such a person is a sanyasin.

These are some of the traditional features of a spiritual life – the methods of the harmonizing of the principles of dharma, artha, kama and moksha connected with the principles involved in the stages of the brahmacharin, grihastha, vanaprastha and sanyasin, all which commingle in a sea of comprehension which is the maintenance of God-consciousness. Such a person alone can be called a sanyasin.

 In one of the  discourses on Ugadi day, Swami  said,

"Embodiment of love: You cannot find in the entire Cosmos any place or object in which God is not present. The divine is present on the mountains. The divine dwells in villages and cities. The Divine is Omnipresent. Only those who recognize this truth can redeem their lives; they alone can achieve the goal of human existence. The powers of the Divine are limitless. Every living being in the world is governed by some limitations. Birds, beasts and insects are all taken care of by the Divine in respect of their essential needs like food and drink.

People aspire for liberation (Mukti). They have no idea what constitutes liberation. Man seeks liberation from the ills of the body, the senses, the mind, the intellect and the Anthakarana (internal motivator). All these are no doubt necessary. But liberation in the ultimate sense consists in liberation from the cycle of birth and death.

This means that one should redeem one's present life so that one is free from rebirth. Men should pray to God for freedom from rebirth so that they will not have bodies which are bound to be afflicted with diseases. People have no clear idea of what Dharma, Artha, Kama and Moksha (the four goals) mean.

They think that Moksha (liberation) is something, which you attain after death. But, in fact, liberation can be attained here and now. Moksha means "Moha-Kshayam" the elimination of "Moha" (or attachment). People are not ready to give up attachment to wife, children, property etc., you have a duty to protect your family. But you must not be immersed in concerns about them. Realise that love is the most important quality in human life. It is not love for kith and kin that is precious. It is love for God that is more valuable".

(Extracts taken from Sanathana Sarathi, April 1998)

Love.