Every spiritual instruction has its proper time
and place. There is a rationale in Sadhana,
which must surely have been noticed by now. Yes, there is a time later when
one literally leaves home. That is when ‘home’ has done its job, and a new
phase begins.
The Sannyasi
is an eagle – when he flies out of his nest, he does not return back to it!
However, for a householder “Escaping from the bondage of home,” means he should
not be attached to it.
This is difficult enough for him. How do we
remain detached from our own home? If we think of this, we find that it
calls for a very special mental ability.
And this ability is so rare in this age that it
may well be easier to abandon home than to be detached from it!
For the householder, it is sufficient that he
remains guarded against too much attachment to the comfort of the home and the
security of living with one’s family.
The “Mine-ness” of Home. What is the problem in
remaining detached?
Suppose you are waiting at a bus-stop. Fire
engines are rushing, bells clanging, sirens flitting. You are not very
seriously concerned. You get into the bus and your journey starts. Then someone
tells you that the fire appears to be in ‘your’ area; you look at the smoke
rising and see that it is coming from ‘your’ road. Then a chill catches hold of
you. You are gripped by a strange anxiety, you become a changed being.
Immediately you are in a terrible state and have no peace of mind. “O God! It
may be ‘my’ home? And if it actually happens to be ‘your’ home – finished! Your
world starts falling apart.
This is ‘mine’-ness, that special state of mind
with regard to that particular object or thing. If a bank crashes and goes into
liquidation, you are not bothered – provided you have not invested in it!
But if it happens to be ‘your’ bank and all
‘your’ finance is invested in it, then – Oh! Your coffee falls down and you run
to the phone. Then you are like the cat on hot bricks. What has happened? Have
you pondered over this?
(The author remembers to have visited and met
Swami Chidananda at his residence in Hrihsikesh Ashram along with his
grandfather in 1980.)
Yet, the insight is poignant. Ownership of home
gets ‘mine’-ness associated with everything about it – the family, the garden,
the trees in the yard, the decorations in the rooms. That is what Step 8 warns
us about. How can we overcome ‘mine’-ness?
To live without this mine-ness requires some
spiritual Sadhana in one’s training.
One cannot put an activity to this Sadhana.
It is an inner state of mind. The mind has to change. The clue is Love for God.
Devotion is a key factor in making an adjustment in this regard. When it arises
in us, it is irrepressible. It forces us to take to unchartered territories.
A spiritual daring is sparked off by devotion to
God. We are speaking of removing the sense of ‘mine-ness’. The householder who
is able to do this is a hero indeed. He pits himself against all odds in a
society that presses him to cling to his home at all costs. The crucial factor
is to make the ‘inner’ change of attitude towards Home.
Let us rewind our thoughts and go back to what
we learnt on “Purushartha in Grahastha life” in Karma session.
Yudhistra - "Oh divine sage! Please explain
to me the course of conduct by which a householder like me can attain moksha
easily."
Bhagawan Narada replied: (Extract from the
reply, relevant to today’s post)·
*
"A
person, living the life of a householder, should perform all the karma prescribed for a householder, but
offer it to God. He should also serve great saints and mahatmas.
*
Whenever
he gets the time, he should go and live amongst people who have given up
worldly life and hear from them, stories about the various avatars of God.
* The
companionship of these holy people will have the following effect on the
householder: Like the person who, getting up from a dream, feels no attachment
to the objects seen in his dream, similarly, as the householder’s mind becomes
purer and purer by satsangh with holy
men, he will gradually start reducing attachment to his body, wife, children,
money etc., because in any case they are one day going to separate from him.”
A wise person should serve his body and family
only to the extent that is functionally necessary and not more.
He should be detached from inside and behave
like an ordinary, typical person.
Another incident was shared in the
same session on Janaka, which again brings about the essence of “experience in
Grahastha life without getting bound by the same”.
In the Anu Gita of the Mahabharata,
we have a beautiful monologue of King Janaka.
He speaks about the way he rules
the kingdom. King Janaka was an ideal Grahastha.
His answer was a great lesson to
all seekers of Truth. “I do not enjoy, I only experience,” was the
answer. “I do not know what is enjoyment, but I do have experiences."
So the Grahastha is a wise person who supports life while not enjoying it,
and contributes personal values to social values.
When it is properly taught
and lived in this way, the life of a Grahastha
becomes a preparation for God-realization, as it ought to be.
Love.