Extract from Gospel of Ramakrishna (Parama Hamsa)
Master about himself
"Therefore I feel that it is
the Divine Mother Herself who dwells in this body and plays with the devotees.
When I first had my exalted state of mind, my body would radiate light. My
chest was always flushed. Then I said to the Divine Mother: 'Mother, do not
reveal Thyself outwardly. Please go inside.' That is why my complexion is so
dull now. If my body were still luminous, people would have tormented me; a
crowd would always have thronged here.
Now there is no outer manifestation.
That keeps weeds away. Only genuine devotees will remain with me now. Do you
know why I have this illness? It has the same significance. Those whose
devotion to me has a selfish motive behind it will run away at the sight of my
illness.
"I cherished a desire. I said
to the Mother, 'O Mother, I shall be the king of the devotees.'
"Again, this thought arose in
my mind: 'He who sincerely prays to God will certainly come here. He must.' You
see, that is what is happening now. Only people of that kind come.
"My parents knew who dwells
inside this body. Father had a dream at Gaya. In that dream Raghuvir said to
him, 'I shall be born as your son.'
"God alone dwells inside this
body. Such renunciation of 'woman and gold!' Could I have accomplished that
myself? I have never enjoyed a woman, even in a dream.
Totapuri
"Nangta instructed me in
Vedānta. In three days I went into samādhi. At the sight of my samādhi under
the madhavi vine, he was quite taken aback and exclaimed, 'Ah! What is this?'
Then he came to know who resides in this body.
He said to me, 'Please let me go.'
At these words of Totapuri, I went into an ecstatic mood and said, 'You cannot
go till I realize the Truth of Vedānta.'
"Day and night I lived with
him. We talked only Vedānta. The Brahmani used to say to me:
'Don't listen to Vedānta. It will
injure your devotion to God.'
Mathur Babu
"I said to the Divine Mother:
'Mother, please get me a rich man. If You don't, how shall I be able to protect
this body? How shall I be able to keep the sādhus and devotees near me?' That
is why Mathur Babu provided for my needs for fourteen years.
"He who dwells in me tells me
beforehand what particular class of devotees will come to me. When I have a
vision of Gaurānga, I know that devotees of Gaurānga are coming. When I have a
vision of Ran, the Saktas come.
"At the time of the evening
service I used to cry out from the roof of the kuthi, weeping: 'Oh, where are
you all? Come to me!' You see, they are all gathering here, one by one.
"God Himself dwells in this body. It is He who, of His own accord, is working with these devotees.
"What a wonderful state of mind
some of the devotees have! The younger Naren gets kumbhaka without any effort,
and samādhi too. Sometimes he stays in an ecstatic mood for two and a half
hours; sometimes even more. How wonderful!
"I have practised all kinds
of sādhanā: Jnāna yoga, karma yoga, and bhakti yoga. I have even
gone through the exercises of hathayoga to increase longevity. There is another
Person dwelling in this body. Otherwise, after attaining samādhi, how could I
live with the devotees and enjoy the love of God? Koar Singh used to say to me:
'I have never before seen a person who has returned from the plane of samādhi.
You are none other than Nanak.'
"I live in the midst of worldly
people; on all sides I see 'woman and gold'. Nevertheless, this is the
state of my mind: unceasing samādhi and bhava. That is the reason Pratap said,
at the sight of my ecstatic mood: 'Good heavens! It is as if he were possessed
by a ghost!' "
(Rākhāl, M., and the others were
speechless as they drank in this account of Sri Ramakrishna's unique
experiences.)
Love.