As per the earlier instructions, the Brahmachari (student) has been equipped
with secular knowledge and life skills, and spiritual devotion and
renunciation.
The path towards success in both lies ahead of
him. He has had the character building training deemed necessary by the Indian
sages.
Now comes the real test of all that he has
learnt and imbibed at the Gurukula.
The most productive period of his life lies ahead, and it would take him from
age 20 to age 55, the grahastha ashrama.
The object of entering the householder’s life is
to achieve Chitta Shuddhi or
“mental purity”.
How is this to be achieved? Mental purity comes
from reduction of desires. Herein lies our ultimate spiritual good. This stage
can be utilized for the gradual thinning out of desires as taught in the Brahmacharya Ashrama.
While we would get into each instruction in this
sacred panchakam of Sankara, let us
get more into this Grahastha Ashram
as given in the Brahma Sutras, the
highest treatise!!
Swami Krishnananda says,
Kṛtsnabhāvāttu
gṛhiṅopasaṁhāraḥ
(B.S. 3.4.48).
The
meaning of this sutra is, the life of a householder is integral.
The
general idea is that the life of a householder is one of attachment to family,
property, etc. Then what does this mean?
How
is the life of a householder integral?
The
word ‘householder’ has a unique meaning in India. There are four gradational
achievements, or attainments, for the development of the person, which were
arranged in ancient times in India.
The
duties of a householder are interesting to know. It is not attachment to
family; that is far from the truth. In Indian culture, attachment is never
allowed. Duty is necessary. The fulfilment of the needs of personal and social
relations is the duty of a householder. In the early days of a Brahmachari, he is concerned only with
himself. But it is not possible to live only by oneself. There is also society
outside.
There
are impulses of self-restraint, there are impulses of social relations, there
are impulses of acquiring wealth, there are impulses of seeing beauty, and
there are impulses of being charitable to people. This is why the Brahma Sutra says the householder’s life
is integral.
The
householder is a highly respected person not because he has a family, but
because he is doing his duty without attachment. Such a person is difficult to
find. Everybody is attached. But the principle is not at fault merely because
it is not followed due to the insistence of the lower instincts. "
Aitareya
Upanishad
describes 3 births in life of a human being.
First birth
At the time of physical union with one’s spouse,
man creates himself inside the foetus of his spouse, or, the father
creates himself inside the foetus of the (future) mother. This is his
first birth.
Here, the Upanishads beckons the husband to hold
his wife at the highest esteem, as she is actually holding/ nurturing her
husband within her foetus.
Second birth
While the mother protects the unborn child in
her womb, the father takes care of the child after delivery till it gets fully
grown up and becomes a sound person in the society.
This act on his part is for maintaining the
continuity of the race. This coming out of the womb and taking birth as a child
is his second birth.
Third birth
The father himself becomes the son as it is
clear in the above 2 exposition. When the son comes of age, the father entrusts
him with all the family duties and responsibilities and feels free from
parental debt.
After this, the life span of the father gets
shortened and he departs from the earth. Then according to his karma he is
reborn again somewhere else in another womb. This is his third birth.
This way the chain of birth and death continues
so long as the man does not consider this chain as a bondage and torture and
till he does not make effort to get released from it during his birth in the
human form.
While the second chapter in this Upanishad gives
the essence and instruction for a man to get released from all the three
births, it is wonderful to also take home the lesson, after understanding the 3
births, as to how,
- A man must nurture/ respect his
spouse for carrying himself within her when she conceives and how a woman
must nurture and respect her husband for having given himself to her in the
process.
- How, both together, as father and
mother, must bring up their children who/which is nothing but they
themselves.
When and if at all one can enter this
sacred grahastha ashrama with such
grand revelations, the attitude, the dimension with which the man
and the woman approach and revere each other brings out the beauty of this most
sacred relationship where, each one acts as a true spiritual companion to the
other.
And,
the beauty of this sacred relation gets manifested in all
its grandeur in this most significant conversation between Yagnavalkya and Maitreyi, when Yagnavalkya
sets forth for Sanyasa Asrama and is
about to leave his wife maitreyi to
take care of his kingdom.
“Yajnavalkya: ‘Maitreyi, I am resolved
to give up the world and begin the life of renunciation. I wish therefore to
divide my property between you and my other wife, Katyayani.’
Maitreyi: ‘My lord, if this
whole earth belonged to me, with all its wealth, should I through its
possession attain immortality?’
Yajnavalkya: ‘No. Your life would
be like that of the rich. None can possibly hope to attain immortality through
wealth.’
Maitreyi : ‘Then what need have
I of wealth? Please, my lord, tell me what you know about the way to
immortality.’
Yajnavalkya: ‘Dear, to me, have you
always been, Maitreyi, and now you ask to learn of that truth which is nearest to my heart. Come, sit by me. I will explain it to you. Meditate on what I say.’”
(Brihadaranyaka Upanishad 2:4:1-4).
(Yajnavalkya
calls Maitreyi priya, which means dear, beloved, and pleasing. He
does not mean it in the small-minded egocentric way we are so inured to.)
Yagnavalkya’s
reply, which is one of the greatest revelations in Upanishad.
“It
is not for the sake of the husband, my beloved, that the husband is dear, but
for the sake of the Self.
“It
is not for the sake of the wife, my beloved, that the wife is dear, but for the
sake of the Self.
“It
is not for the sake of the children, my beloved, that the children are dear,
but for the sake of the Self.
“It
is not for the sake of wealth, my beloved, that wealth is dear, but for the
sake of the Self.
“It
is not for the sake of the Brahmins, my beloved, that the Brahmins are held in
reverence, but for the sake of the Self.
“It
is not for the sake of the Kshatriyas, my beloved, that the Kshatriyas are held
in honor, but for the sake of the Self.
“It
is not for the sake of the higher worlds, my beloved, that the higher worlds
are desired, but for the sake of the Self.
“It
is not for the sake of the gods, my beloved, that the gods are worshipped, but
for the sake of the Self.
“It
is not for the sake of the creatures, my beloved, that the creatures are
prized, but for the sake of the Self.
“It
is not for the sake of itself, my beloved, that anything whatever is esteemed,
but for the sake of the Self.
“The
Self, Maitreyi, is to be known. Hear about it, reflect upon it, meditate upon
it. By knowing the Self, my beloved, through hearing, reflection, and
meditation, one comes to know all things” .
(A very profound, rather 2 or 3 sessions were
given to smaller group of sadhakas on the above grand revelation which
takes the entire relationship between a husband and wife to the quest for self
or rather, the reverence of SELF itself)
Love.
