D.: I want to know how I can gain that peace of mind. Kindly be pleased to advise me.
M.: Yes - devotion and surrender.
D.: Am I worthy of being a devotee?
M.: Everyone can be a devotee. Spiritual fare is
common to all and never denied to anyone - be the person old or young, male or
female.
D.: That is exactly what I am anxious to know. I am
young and a grihini (housewife). There are duties of grihastha dharma (the
household). Is devotion consistent with such a position?
M.: Certainly. What are you? You are not the body.
You are Pure Consciousness. Grihastha dharma and the world are only phenomena
appearing on that Pure Consciousness. It remains unaffected. What prevents you
from being your own Self?
D.: Yes I am already aware of the line of teaching
of Maharshi. It is the quest for the Self. But my doubt persists if such quest
is compatible with grihastha life.
M.: The Self is always there. It is you. There is
nothing but you. Nothing can be apart from you. The question of compatibility
or otherwise does not arise.
D.: I shall be more definite. Though a stranger, I
am obliged to confess the cause of my anxiety. I am blessed with children. A
boy - a good brahmachari - passed away in February. I was grief-stricken. I was
disgusted with this life. I want to devote myself to spiritual life. But my
duties as a grihini do not permit me to lead a retired life. Hence my doubt.
M.: Retirement means abidance in the Self. Nothing
more. It is not leaving one set of surroundings and getting entangled in
another set, nor even leaving the concrete world and becoming involved in a
mental world. The birth of the son, his death, etc., are seen in the Self only.
Recall the state of sleep. Were you aware of anything happening? If the son or
the world be real, should they not be present with you in sleep? You cannot
deny your existence in sleep. Nor can you deny you were happy then. You are the
same person now speaking and raising doubts. You are not happy, according to
you. But you were happy in sleep. What has transpired in the meantime that
happiness of sleep has broken down? It is the rise of ego. That is the new
arrival in the jagrat state. There was no ego in sleep. The birth of the ego is
called the birth of the person. There is no other kind of birth. Whatever is born
is bound to die. Kill the ego: there is no fear of recurring death for what is
once dead. The Self remains even after the death of the ego. That is Bliss -
that is Immortality.
D.: How is that to be done?
M.: See for whom these doubts exist. Who is the doubter?
Who is the thinker? That is the ego. Hold it. The other thoughts will die away.
The ego is left pure; see where from the ego arises. That is pure
consciousness.
Extract from “Talks
with Ramana Maharshi”
